


It Takes a Cantown to Raise a Grub

by twilitalks



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (its minor though and not that important), Adopted Children, Arguments, Children, Domestic Fluff, Earth C (Homestuck), Ectobiology, F/F, Fluff, Humor, Light Angst, M/M, Motherhood, Post-Canon, Quadrant Vacillation, Romance, also vriska is there, exploring the psyche but also being terrified by its truths, happy lesbian wives get a happy family, i would tag canon compliant but hs is so vast im bound to mess up sorry, occasional pesterlogs, overcoming childhood issues, rose is a mess with mommy issues but kanaya loves her anyways
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-08
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-03-28 12:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13904463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twilitalks/pseuds/twilitalks
Summary: Rose Lalonde was perfectly fine and happy being married to the woman of her dreams. Just them. A peaceful, calm, quiet life.So why was the house so lonely?Why did Kanaya's motherly charm suddenly squeeze at her heart?Alternatively: In which Flighty Broad A, who's flushed for Flighty Broad B, learns that despite being married to her matesprit and living in a beautiful and peaceful house that counteracts the chaotic adventure they have long since finished, she feels herself yearning for something indescribable and incomprehensible only to eventually discover its the human instinct to want children with their matesprits when the condition is favorable but she has heavy baggage concerning motherhood and has a crisis, but with the help of Flighty Broad B and her other family members, she learns to overcome them and grow as they dive into a weird alien mix of raising a child.





	1. [S] Flighty Broads: Expect the Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> this started off as satire on the phenomena of (temporarily) wanting to suddenly have kids when u see ur s/o is good with kids,,,, this also started off as a short oneshot but look at that,,,, i love rosemary too much for that so im gonna milk this as much as i can bc if no one is giving me this content ill Make It Myself also if ur reading this ily

Rose was the first to ever mention it.

In retrospect, this surprised Kanaya more than most things. Few things managed to surprise her after their many adventures and convoluted journeys, yet it seemed that the essence of paradox space still had a few left in it for her.

She wasn’t quite sure, if she was being entirely honest, which she often tried to be, why it surprised her. They had a fully stable and secure red-rom relationship (though Kanaya found herself kicking her shining ankles for still being so cemented mentally in her old society’s ways and often tried not to relate it to trivial quadrant ideals that were no longer a necessity. She wasn't the only one who did so- she knew it for a fact- forgetting what you were raised on was much more difficult than anticipated. Rose told her multiple times that it wasn't something to shun and forget- it would be nice to carry along some aspects of their culture to this new universe, she often reminded her. Rose still often used terms and concepts foreign to Kanaya herself, so she could understand th-

She forced this train of thought to end as soon as she heard Rose’s snarky, yet lovely, voice in her head informing her that she was rambling.

Again.), and through its many trials they had emerged victorious and mostly unscathed. Rose and Dave and even, occasionally, Jade and John, would discuss human relationships and it's many hurdles and complexities that Kanaya just could never hope to fully grasp (just the concept of marriage and engagement and a wedding took her several tries to somewhat understand, and she wasn't quite sure how this changed any aspect of her and Rose’s relationship at all, but she secretly enjoyed the title of being Rose’s “Wife”, in a way she couldn't quite comprehend).

She knew humans’ perception of hivelife were different- they didn't quite have Lusii like trolls did, but something primitively complex. They knew exactly where and who they came from (most of the time-there were a few exceptions, and those made more sense to her than the original concept), and could even physically see resemblance within one another.

Guardians raised their young, typically, and Rose often explained how things were normally perceived on Earth- to help her get a better grasp on Earth culture apart from the eight humans with very particular fates she knew- and Kanaya could somewhat understand.

In fact, she could better understand than the rest of the trolls- and most of the other races of creatures they now regarded with peace and symbioticism. She was still a Jade Blood, at the end of it all. When the humans explained their foreign ways of raising large families and coexistence through genetic similarities and complex culture aspects (such as marriage!), though confusing,  she could maintain a minimal level of understanding. Being “motherly” (as Rose put it, and often snapped at Kanaya for being towards her) was sort of second nature to her- it was in her blood and in her fate, in a way. She enjoyed working with the newly hatching wigglers, and it made something grander than her, something she could only hope to explain as evolutionary instinct, happily buzz inside her. In a sort of sick way, this was what she was bred for. This wasn't her purpose, no, but it was definitely something she could consider as a calling.

She wondered idly, if perhaps the lack of the severe violence of Alternia’s ever-existing troubles and environment had an influence. Here, they needn't worry about cullings, or trials, or the scorching, unforgiving Alternian sun (that she so personally enjoyed) and the many beasts that came along with it. Perhaps she wouldn't find such joy in it then, and she wondered if it disgraced her past society in anyway. But it made her feel angry inside, in a way she didn't particularly enjoy, so she immaturely cast that creeping thought process aside and watched the cerulean-blooded wiggler blink up at her in amazement.

“Hello, there,” Kanaya greeted softly, cooed practically, and Rose teased her excessively for the better part of the day over it.

“Aren’t you just a future scholar?” Rose said softly at the same wiggler a bit later, once she noticed it was rather aggressively gnawing at a rock it found laying around the cavern floor.

Noticing this, Kanaya hurried over and removed the rock from the wiggler’s jaws (a task surprisingly difficult to Rose, who attempted to help). It wasn’t unheard of for wigglers to do so, but Kanaya wanted the least medical issues with them as possible.

“Oh dear,” she softly spoke, and the wiggler watched her with curious, wide eyes. “We can’t have that, can we?” She gave a grin, baring her fangs, and the wiggler made an excited noise of approval at such a new discovery.

“Perhaps she’s hungry?” Rose offered, ever-helpful.

“Perhaps.” Kanaya replied, watching the wiggler in thought as it squirmed and tittered in her arms. It seemed fascinated by the way Kanaya’s skin emitted energy, and it started to gnaw against her skin.

She winced, though it was a bit sharp, it wasn’t an unfamiliar feeling at this point.

“Oh, my, _definitely_ hungry.” Kanaya smiled, pulling the wigglers teeth away from her and gently rocking it, before looking up at Rose, who oddly seemed a little dazed when watching her (she didn’t mention it).

“Can you watch her while I search for something to sate her? I’d leave her, but I’ve noticed this week she’s been a bit of a troublemaker.”

Rose huffed and rolled her eyes and Kanaya knew whatever was coming next, it would be coated heavily in bitterly-sweet sarcasm. Almost nervously covered- Rose was definitely bothered by something, or at the very least caught off guard.

Kanaya was going to negate her statement, to say not to worry, but before she could Rose held her arms out.

“I’m not quite sure I’m capable,” Rose waxes dramatically, but she was already holding the squirming creature in her arms. “I’ve only been doing this with you since day one.”

Kanaya didn’t take any of her snarky bait, and left and returned with a small portion of food and a weighted blanket (hopefully the wiggler would calm down with it).

“Rose-Oh!” Her eyes widened at the poorly hidden panic on Rose’s face as the wiggler clicked and screeched, scratching and trying to escape from the Seer’s grasp.

Rose gave a nervous laugh, tried to mumble something about having it under control, but Kanaya saw the pink and red scratches littering her Wife’s (!) arms and didn’t believe it for a second. She pulled the wiggler away and once on the floor, it scrambled around and screeched, visibly agitated.

“What happened?” Kanaya asked with concern, but Rose was too busy staring at the floor with mild irritation and heavy disappointment.

Kanaya knew that look well.

It wasn’t that Kanaya would call Rose an intense perfectionist, but she did have this odd, irrational anger within herself if she wasn’t perfect at something the first time she tried. It made no sense, but Kanaya had seen it again and again. Almost if she had something to prove to someone, anyone, but Kanaya couldn’t quite place who.

It was a little different now, though, and maybe that should’ve been Kanaya’s first red flag, but she brushed it aside.

“Rose,” She spoke, and Rose’s gaze moved from the cavern floor to her face instead. There was a complex, unreadable expression, and it made Kanaya a little worried.

“It’s fine, higher bloods tend to get a bit…. feisty. It was my mistake to leave her with you so long- don’t take it to heart.”

“It wasn’t long,” Rose defended, possibly trying to seem like an adult, but Kanaya felt somewhat like she was staring at a disappointed child. “And it’s ….. you seem to have a more…. _Motherly_ touch than I.”

“That’s not it at all,” Kanaya defended (confused, since Rose often regarded that quality with negativity), and while Rose seemed unconvinced, she still listened.

“You’ll see now- I have to get her to calm down enough. It’s not a competition.”

“Did I give off the illusion I believed so?” Rose asked, and thought it was bitterly phrased, it was a genuine question. Kanaya shook her head and Rose looked a little relieved. Kanaya was too scared to ask why and, in retrospect, Rose had given her so many opportunities to question the sudden oddity in the routine and yet she brushed past all of them.

Kanaya could tell Rose felt a bit more secure after she watched Kanaya struggle to lay the heavy blanket on the agitated wiggler.

“Is that better?” She asked the wiggler, who was effectively calmer with the steady weights in the blanket and the items to chew on.

“Your arms are covered in scratches, dear.” Rose replied instead, since the wiggler could not and would not, reaching out and delicately touching her wife’s arms. Kanaya couldn’t help but smile a bit at the tenderness of the gesture, though it was oddly placed for Rose PDA, which primarily was infused with teasing.

“Now we match.” The Jade Blood replied without much thought, and both parties gave an embarrassed laugh at how cringy and ridiculously cheesy they had become around each other.

“Two scratched up wives and a feisty grub- what an interesting trio to be.” Rose said, and it was intended to be much less intense than it actually was delivered- Kanaya could tell by the way her wife blinked a bit in surprise at her own words, gave the light laugh of embarrassment neither was sure who had picked up from the other over the sweeps.

Kanaya wasn’t sure why such a statement was apparently bothersome to Rose. She wasn’t sure she could get an answer, anyway- Rose looked as if she was lost in her own sudden thoughts.

“How odd it would be, to be a trio.” Kanaya tried, an attempt to reel her back into her comfort zone. “We overlap so perfectly, it’s hard to wedge in something as rambunctious as this little one.” She finished with a light pat on the wiggler’s back, who gave a happy trill.

“Right….” Rose replied after a few seconds, but it only took the small delay for Kanaya to realize she hadn’t properly diffused the situation. It was difficult when she wasn’t aware what was the problem in the first place. “Simply a joke. A jest.”

The Seer grinned in a way that wasn’t at all sincere and Kanaya at once knew something was currently going over her head.

Maddening.

But Rose didn’t comment much more than that, and when Kanaya complimented her on tending to an olive blood, a genuine smile returned to the Seer’s face.

It was routine, for Rose to often come to assist- and it made Kanaya pity and flush red for her more and more every time. Rose was unsure how to proceed, but eager to help (in her own cynical way)- she teased Kanaya and her instincts, and helped organize the broods. While there was definitely a visible disconnect between maternal instincts and Rose, Kanaya admired her attempts and watched her improve daily.

Kanaya was a troll of routine, however- routine was secure, and meant everything would fall in its correct place with guidance. So when something was out of place, it was something she could immediately catch.

Thus, the soft look Rose would give her after teasing her “motherly instinctive habits” that was uncharacteristic, horribly foreign, and definitely misplaced on her Wife’s face was easy to spot. Rose Lalonde was not someone who spared soft, vulnerable looks. Rose Lalonde was someone with stubborn, sadistic smirks and eyes that glittered with mischievous snark and taunt.

The sickeningly sweet way Rose watched her should've been her first clue. Kanaya was a fool to ignore it, but she shuffled the question away in the corners of her thinkpan for a later date.

It sprung up occasionally. When they greeted new wigglers: when they moved and growled and slept and especially, _especially_ when Kanaya interacted with one. After a few incidents, Kanaya could recognize the admiration and adoration in Rose’s eyes.

It was unsettling, because Kanaya didn't understand nor have an explanation for it.

There was an occasion, back at their Hive, or Home, or some chaotic and harmonious mix of the word, after they had returned from tending to the future generations of both trolls, and a few humans (Kanaya was wary of them at first, because they looked all too adult-like from the very beginning, and it was unsettling- the way their genetics functioned and clipped together so seamlessly, but it was also extremely fascinating, so she watched and cautiously interacted anyway, until Rose or another human told her it would be okay. After a few days, she had grown out of it, but she supposed this is what Rose felt like with wigglers, but Rose was also a woman of little fear, so she wasn't very confident in the comparison.), where Kanaya continued to catch Rose’s unsettling expression.

She ignored it, at first, tending to a sketch as Rose held a book and pretended to read. She shouldn't have, but she did.

After a while, the pressure became too great, and Kanaya tried to seem casual as she glanced up at her wife, offering her a small smile, which Rose was already returning.

(But it wasn't the same know-it-all grin that charmed her and often made her want to kick something angrily because she loved her Matesprit, she did, truly, but there was times she was purposely insufferable just to pacify her sadistic needs, and many times forced her to an existential episode of wondering if and how Rose Lalonde was incredible enough to suffice and two opposing affection types out of her wife at differing times even though she could never hope to understand blackrom- and she knew it- and gave Kanaya Maryam-Lalonde a run for her boondollars. So she had every right to worry.)

“Is something the matter?” Kanaya asked, trying to seem concerned and not unsettled.

“Oh, yes,” Rose replied, and Kanaya saw that hint of snarkiness return to the smile, which relieved her a bit. “Can't you tell? I am just so incredibly _unhappy_ in this beautiful home and life we have created for ourselves, my dearest.” She sighed dramatically, her voice dripping with the sweet sarcasm Kanaya’s palette had adapted to enjoy over the sweeps.

“Oh, dear,” Kanaya tsked, the sound of the pencil lightly scraping the paper a calm interference to their banter.

“Yes, I'm afraid you have caught me.” Rose continued, and traveled closer to Kanaya on the loveseat. “I'm planning my escape tonight. I'm leaving this life behind to pursue my goals and aspirations this terrible marriage is holding me back from.”

Kanaya gave her a look, but Rose still seemed amused with herself, so it wasn't very effective.

She would have to use a different approach. Rose Lalonde was a maze- one ever changing and always challenging- and if one wanted to solve it, she knew working backwards was the wisest way to go.

Kanaya watched her wife for a few moments, tenderly reached out and brushed her fingers against the soft cheek of the Seer, and the soft look returned.

“Interesting.” Kanaya said simply, before returning to her sketch with little intent to continue. She knew Rose’s curiosity would now be peaked.

“Oh? Whatever could've gauged such an opinionated observation?” She questioned, goodnaturedly, but Kanaya knew it was internally eating away at her now. A Seer yearned for answers, after all.

“Is there an issue with finding my wife interesting without context or explanation?”

Bait set- but Rose took it immediately. She preached patience, but truly rarely had it at times.

“No, but I know for a fact you have a _very_ lengthy explanation for practically every opinion and thought process that you have.” The other punctuated with a teasing smirk. “It's endearing, although somewhat exhausting.”

Kanaya offered her a smile. “I simply find you very interesting, for an array of reasons.”

Frustration radiated off of Rose, Kanaya could feel it in the minuscule spike of her body temperature, but she stayed otherwise composed. In fact, she shifted closer, plucked the sketchbook from Kanaya’s hands, and placed it on the coffee table in front of them. Before the other could argue, Rose settled against her right, twining their fingers together and effectively silencing Kanaya.

“Well, I would hope so. But I'm wondering what specifically led you to express it. I must've done something to have peaked your interest.” Rose smirked now, and Kanaya felt the room grow more vivid as her glow brightened with fluster.

“Many things.” Kanaya found herself saying almost immediately, the tone of the conversation now shifting towards unexpected intimacy. Unashamedly, her gaze traveled to her lips and briefly towards her neck, before meeting Rose’s entertained eyes again.

“Enlighten me.”

Kanaya sighed. “That was terrible.”

Rose, proud, still laughed at her poor joke.

“I simply cannot help myself.” She spoke with her words twisted around her laughter, so Kanaya couldn't help but become entranced by her beauty once again. She smiled pitifully at her, and she wondered if Rose could see the hearts in her eyes she was certain were there.

“Kanaya,” Rose said suddenly, but it was soft and warm and inviting, so Kanaya nodded in acknowledgement. “Would you care to swap incriminating secrets with me?”

Kanaya blinked in confusion. “I'm afraid I don't have any. And I assumed that you didn't keep any from me, either…”

“Well, less of a secret, and more of a confession.” Rose reassured, but Kanaya was still confused.

“Well, if you are comfortable with doing so, I don't see the issue. But I'm afraid I still don't have a secret to admit in return.”

“How about I tell you my confession,” Rose mumbled, her arm snaking around Kanaya’s shoulders and bringing them closer. “And you tell me what you found so _very_ interesting?”

Kanaya watched her through half lidded vision, practically entranced by the charm and complexity of her wife, and nodded with agreement. Anything to keep them in this cozy pocket of time as long as possible. Anything to hear the faint beat of Rose’s bloodpusher from just beneath her skin and to study all the intricacies of the way her lips moved around her meaningful words.

“Forgive me, for I may have more than one reason for my interest.” Kanaya admitted, though it wasn't much of a secret, but Rose’s positive reaction was worth such a ridiculous statement.

“Yes, well, that's alright.” Rose supplied. “Now…. I’m not sure how to exactly put this, because there's a chance it may seem confusing for many intricate culture differences, but… I must confess that it is always inexplicably fascinating and mesmerizing to watch you tend to little ones.”

Kanaya blinked with confusion, again. She was right- it was rather confusing.

“Oh?”

Rose nodded, seemingly not elaborating on what that meant.

“I’m afraid that I don't quite understand.”

Rose laughed again, almost nervously. “I'm afraid that I knew that would be the answer. I'm not sure I know a way to explain what I mean, either.”

Kanaya paused- she wanted to attempt to understand.

“Well,” she started. “What makes it fascinating?”

“Oh, I don't know,” Rose said offhandedly, though Kanaya knew it was untrue. “Perhaps, just the fact that you are so immediately excellent with it. And the care that you put in for them, and just the overall motherly role you slip into. It's all very….” She paused, wanting to find a word that was appropriate. “Attractive. To a human, at least.”

Kanaya gave her an odd look. “Attractive.” She repeated, and Rose gave a little embarrassed laugh again.

“That's not the correct word. But I cannot bring myself to think of a proper one.”

Kanaya felt confused. It must be some odd human thing. There were many of those that, in all her sweeps, Kanaya would never be able to comprehend. “Well, I suppose that in turn answers my inquiry.”

“Which was?”

“Well, since it's my turn to supply my end of the bargain- I must admit I was confused and interested by the way you watched me when I tended to them.”

Rose suddenly looked away, her face filling with red. “Oh? Was that something that was rather noticeable?”

“Extremely.” Kanaya admitted, though she could tell they were both dancing around the topic and not addressing the bigger questions here.

Rose waved her hand. “Just some idiotic, evolutionary leftovers.”

It didn't shed any light.

“What do you mean?”

Rose, instead, moved to climb into Kanaya’s lap.

“Nothing important.”

Kanaya’s eyes widened at her forwardness, and when she attempted to question what had suddenly gotten into her, Rose pressed her lips to hers with slight haste.

Rose’s arms found themselves draped around Kanaya’s shoulders as Kanaya’s hands traveled to the familiar, comforting curves of her wife’s hips as they kissed. As it quickly escalated, Kanaya broke apart to suggest moving off of their loveseat, but when she went to speak, she found that her back was already pressed against the soft cushions of the Loungeplank (Kanaya suddenly found herself too distracted to remember the human name).

“Rose,” she breathed out, sighing with content. “We've hardly finished our discussion.”

“Haven't we?” Rose said without clarification, but she was smirking, and her words held no malice other than the usual pitch of sadism. Kanaya spoke up again to protest, because she truly wanted to learn about what Rose had meant, but her wife shifted against her in a way that made her give a short gasp and her thinkpan short-circuit and she had to hope the loungeplank was suited for this sort of activity (as if it hadn't been countless times before).

“I simple find earthly, human, and psychologically questionable attraction in the fact that you suit your bloodcaste’s duties dangerously and incredibly all-too-well.” Rose murmured with a mixed expression, but Kanaya found that she suddenly wasn't caring too much about their previous conversation.

Kanaya should've expected it by this point. She should've expected something like this, but part of her willed herself blind to the idea, because it made no sense to her personally.

Later that evening, Kanaya saw from the corner of her vision that Rose turned over in bed to face her, and automatically she was apologizing for keeping her up with luminescent abilities (which she now lessened) and almost consistant inability to sleep comfortably and without hassle in a “bed” even after so many sweeps. She didn't need sleep, really, being undead and all, but naps were great, and naps with Rose were better, and-

“No, no, Kanaya,” Rose interrupted her apology (and thoughts), sitting up and watching her with a tired, thoughtful expression. As if she had been thinking for a long, long time, Kanaya observed as she glanced at the blonde tuff of disheveled hair on the side Rose had been laying on.

“Oh, is something keeping you awake?” She asked instead, lowering her sketchbook to her lap again.

“I guess you could say that,” Rose said, cryptically, which is how she usually spoke.

“Care to share your thoughts?”

“Possibly.” Rose said again, short and untelling, and Kanaya frowned as she placed her sketchbook on the nightstand to the left of her, which signaled Rose to move closer to her and sigh.

“Forgive me for the topic I'm about to propose,” Rose said with an embarrassed smile, fidgeting with the blanket, and then with Kanaya’s fingers when her wife took her hands in her own.

“It is entirely human and embarrassing, if I'm being honest.”

“If we’re both being honest, you are usually entirely human and embarrassing, so it will not be too shocking.” Kanaya teased, and Rose laughed a little, so she figured she was doing a good job as a Human Wife.

“Yes, well, I suppose that's true.”

“You seem to be very trapped in your thoughts lately. It's alright to tell me things- even if I don't quite understand a few. Your mutual confusion over my own daily habits and social expectations should be enough to tell you this.”

“And yet, I still have uncertainty in the subject.” Rose mumbled in response, definitely more towards herself than anyone else, so Kanaya reached over and gently guided her face towards her own.

“You can tell me anything- no matter how human _or_ embarrassing.”

“Not _and?”_ Rose weakly teased, but Kanaya knew it was a defense mechanism more than anything,

“What's bothering you, Rose?”

At this, her wife sighed as her eyes traveled back to their covers, to their hands intertwined together.

It took several moments for her to speak up again, but Kanaya waited with learned patience.

“Humans have this….. oddly specific instinctual urge leftover from many, many years of evolution and survival. Well, they have many, but…”

Kanaya nodded, quietly urging her wife to continue. Human science was extremely fascinating, if not confusing and utterly ridiculous at times ("But Why Would A Body Form And Develop Organs That It Can Survive Without In The First Place”).

 

“What do you mean?”

“Well, humans .... similarly build as myself usually have the ability to carry and birth young.”

Kanaya grimaced a little, because although it wasn’t news, it was still somewhat terrifying and painful to picture, but said nothing.

“That being said…… it's…. common, for someone like myself to… well, have a rush of pheromones when seeing my “mate” capable of caring for children effectively.”

Kanaya paused, before blinking with confusion. “What?”

“Well, think of it this way. Pairing up with someone who can successfully take care of young ones is a good trait, since it would provide the best ideal outcome for the offspring. Thus, our bodies begin to prepare ourselves to do so. Am I making sense?”

“Somewhat,” Kanaya hesitated. “It seems, in theory, this makes sense- but to me, this entire thing seems…..” She paused. “Primitive.”

“Wow. Thanks.” Rose replied with comforting sarcasm.

“I'm not saying that it _is_ ,” Kanaya argued. “I'm only saying that it seems that way to me because it is extremely different and foreign. But I still don't see where you're going with this. Yes, it explains your behavior of late a bit, but why does it bother you so much? It seems only….. natural, for you to feel that way.”

“Well, if you do recall, I don’t really have the best…” Rose’s exhausted brain buffered for a moment to find the correct word, but Kanaya waited. “ _History_ with parenting….. or mothers.”

Ah. That made much more sense. Kanaya has come to learn about Rose’s confusing life with her lusus. Mother. She wasn’t sure which she was supposed to call her, honestly. And the relationship between her wife and Roxy was…… blurred to say the least. They got along well, very well, but only through the mutual agreement to set aside each other’s animosities towards their Alternate Versions.

It wasn’t quite solving the problem, however. Kanaya could tell. Instead of projecting onto Roxy, often times, Kanaya noticed, that Rose’s older tendencies would act against her as her wife. It was in the way all dishes except for one was washed, in the way she would bring Rose gifts, and Rose would have positivity-coated adverse reactions, the times Rose would suddenly become passive aggressive in a way that was just barely not playful anymore….

Rose didn’t solve her issues by welcoming Roxy into her life- Rose pushed them away to appear somewhere else. And Kanaya knew very well the possibility Rose didn’t notice this happening was very high.

Oh well. Another matter for another time.

“Yes, I’m aware of that. But I still fail to see what that has to do with your current predicament. While it is concerning, that past relationship, I fail to see how they fit together.”

Rose sighed again, clearly taking time to bask in Kanaya’s comforting argument in order to brace herself for the inevitable.

And yet, Kanaya still found herself in shock.

“.... I think, and forgive me if this makes me seem very primitive,but…… I would……” The Seer clearly was nervous, but Kanaya (ignoring the pit forming inside her as her mind chased the possibilities of this nerve-wracking discussion they had been avoiding for months now) did her best to physically comfort her and squeezed their hands.

“Sometimes I think….. I wonder…. what it would be like to one day start a family with you, Kanaya.”

The sentence hit her like a door slamming closed on her face. It was a door that had been slowly closing shut for weeks now, and she had every right to prepare herself, and yet, she still flinched at the metaphorical slamming door.

“A …. a family….” Kanaya repeated, her voice quiet with shock. With the lack of grasp of the foreign concept. She said nothing more.

“And I know! I know,” Rose continued before Kanaya could even further respond. Which was good. She hadn’t really formed a proper one yet. “I know that’s a terrible idea. It’s just some improper, idiotic human thought. I’d be an awful fit for a mother. I hate anything even remotely resembling a motherly relationship- I wouldn’t even know where to begin. And I don’t want to end up the same …..” She paused, reached for the proper term. “The same way, I suppose….”

“And why would that happen?” Kanaya inquired, because it was easier to react to that statement than the earlier one.

“Learned behavior?” Rose asked more than answered.

“Rose,” Kanaya said bluntly, and Rose knew she was serious. “What exactly are you afraid will happen?”

The Seer frowned, looked down at the comforter and their hands laced together, and took a moment to think.

“..... I guess, having my own offspring….. hate me. For them to grow up with the same animosities I had. For me to raise someone ….. Just like me.”

Kanaya frowned. “Ignoring the obvious statement that’s laced with self deprecation,” She began, and Rose spared her a bitter laugh from her sight on the fluffy blanket pooled around them. “What makes you think they would only turn out as one parent? Isn’t the idea of combining genetics to have the chance at the most favorable outcome? Who’s to say they won’t be the best aspects of us both?”

Rose gave a little laugh that confused her wife. “Sadly, that’s not quite how it works all the time.”

“Human reproduction and rearing is complex.” Kanaya said instead with a grimace.

“Tell me about it.”

“Is….. is that what’s been bothering you?” Kanaya asked suddenly, but slowly, as if scare away the moth from her flame. “The subconscious need to, um…. bear children?”

“Well, moreso the…. outcomes of doing so. And also the psychological components that weight against it.

“What?”

“Kanaya,” Rose spoke, holding her wife’s hands tightly, clearly stressed by the weight of this conversation. Kanaya felt there was something deeper she wasn’t truly understanding. “Kanaya, when I mean….. when I mean start a family, I mean….. _raising_ one.”

Kanaya felt the world blur around her just a bit. She hadn’t felt that in quite some time.

Rose continued. “I find myself unable to stop wondering what it would be like…. to raise someone we could call our own. That we can watch grow and flourish into something beautiful….. like those human parents we sometimes see on the streets.”

“They look very weathered.” Kanaya said shortly, at a lost for words, and Rose laughed again.

“Yes, well, it does come with a price.”

Kanaya broke her vision away from her wife, instead now focused on the lovely patterns of the bedsheet.

“A …. family….” Kanaya repeated, and she was grateful Rose was giving her time to process. “.... this is…. unfamiliar to me. We’ve never had the concept of ‘family’ growing up, other than a lusus and yourself. Forgive me for misunderstanding, but…. do you mean that we should take on the roles of a Lusus?”

“Hm, somewhat.” Rose nodded. “To put it in familiar terms. But I was thinking more along the lines of…. what we do already in the brooding caverns. But extended.”

“Extended?”

“Until the child is fully matured, and even afterwards.”

“.... Forever?”

Rose grinned. “Parenthood is the inescapable universal trap, yes.”

“Interesting.” Kanaya said. And nothing more.

She wasn’t really sure what to say.

The concept in and of itself was complex, and-

“But that’s not what I want at all!” Rose suddenly argued to no one in particular (or maybe to herself). Kanaya flinched back at the way her wife’s voice suddenly raised.

“What?” _Now_ she was definitely confused.

“I don’t _want_ kids! I never have.” She defended, and Kanaya’s mind buffered and replied with confused silence as she tried to play catch-up to Rose’s thoughts (a race she often tied in, but never won). “But when I see how well you are with them….. I have this overwhelming urge for us to have some.”

“I’m not sure that makes much sense.”

Rose sighed. “It doesn’t.” She admitted, letting herself fall back onto the bed with a loud huff. Her eyes scanned the etches of the ceiling for an answer, Kanaya could tell.

“Well,” Kanaya eventually spoke up, moving so she could lay next to her and twine their fingers together like a pattern- certainly Kanaya’s favorite.

“It seems like this is more a matter of needing to heal from the past than one of primal urges.”

“It’s not that simple.” Rose frowned, Kanaya’s eyes following hers to the ceiling.

“I never said it was.” The troll comforted, her fingers rubbing her wife’s knuckles in what she learned was soothing to humans. “In fact, I’m very guilty of the same. Letting go of your past hardships and quarrels is never easy- I believe I’m a rather prime example of that.”

“Yes, but at least you make it look good.” Rose teased, but the surface of the reply wasn’t it’s true intent.

‘ _At least your battles look worthwhile’_ , Kanaya knew by now to read between the lines and in the margins of her wife’s words.

“Rose,” Kanaya turned to her, on her side, and Rose instinctively mimicked, and it made Kanaya’s bloodpusher squeeze happily. “I think that maybe you are being too hard on yourself. If it’s normal for humans to feel this, why punish yourself so? Truthfully, yes, it’s somewhat odd to me, but….. not with the reasons you believe. It’s odd to me, the concept of wanting to raise grubs at home, as if you were their …. parents?” Kanaya questioned, and Rose nodded that that was the correct term, so she continued. “But I don’t fault you for feeling that urge if it’s normal for humans. I know I certainly do things that are odd for you as well. That’s simply the price you pay for dating an alien.” She punctuated her conclusion with a poke to Rose’s nose, who rolled her eyes but smiled all the same.

“You don’t necessarily have to act on these feelings or urges, but… You also shouldn’t feel ashamed for them.”

“Hm, what a lucky day, for you to not criticise and poke at my human-primitiveness.” Rose tested with a sad smile.

“Some things are too serious to brush aside with lighthearted humor.” Kanaya explained, brushing Rose’s hair from her face letting her fingers gently brush against her wife’s (! it was still so nice to hear, perhaps more so as the time passed, a title that aged like fine wine rather than expired) cheeks.

There was a pause, and then:

“...Thank you, Kanaya.” Rose let her eyes relax and close as Kanaya studied the familiar features of Rose’s face, like a scholar student reviewing their flashcards they memorized and perfected long ago for the sake of holding its information near and dear.

“I don’t really see how much I’ve been of help- in fact, I feel as though I’m being closed-minded in a way.”

“How so?”

“Finding your situation…” Kanaya poked her tongue into her cheek as she thought of a proper word. “Odd and unintelligible.”

“More like bringing me back down to my senses, dear.” Rose insisted, and while she looked calmer and moved closer to Kanaya and wrapped her arms around her, Kanaya still felt unconvinced.

“Are you sure?”

“Kanaya. I love you, please let me sleep this train-of-thought off and we can move on in the morning, okay?”

Kanaya frowned. Something went wrong, there was definitely some sort of alien-miscommunication, but she wasn’t sure what, or how to fix it.

But Rose’s body warmth was calling, calming, and lulled her to sleep before she could think much more of it…

\---

Rose most definitely had not slept off the train of thought. Even days later, her mind was plagued with the same predicament, so desperate times called for desperate measures. She needed someone to talk sense into her- not someone as agreeing and understanding as Kanaya.

Someone who wouldn’t let her continue this idiotic, disparaging, and disheartening idea.

 

 

 

 

tentacleTherapist[TT]began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]at 16:13.

TT: Dave.

TT: Roof. Now.


	2. Rose: Seek help from the Other Side//Karkat: Meddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose desperately seeks solace from different mediums of evil, and Karkat hunts down his moirail for a feelings jam. Also, Vriska is there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, let me just apologize for just disappearing right after the first chapter,, i got stumped on where i wanted to take this story for the longest time. But now it's got a proper direction to head in, so i'm hoping to update much more frequently now!  
> also i made this chapter longer to make up for it, and though i think its a tad too long, i hope everyone likes it!  
> note: the scenes bounce back and forth between roughly two or three days, and aren't necessarily chronological. Also vaska is there im tired of waiting for her to return from the war in canon bc hussie loves to watch us suffer so i brought her back myself  
>  
> 
> R E A D!!!!: some brief mentions of past abuse for dave and vriska, very subtle and not descriptive to the abuse at all, but here's a warning just in case!

 

TG: rose no offense but this is the most fucking jarring text u have ever sent me

TG: no thanks

TT: Dave.

TT: This is urgent.

TG: how urgent we talkin

TG: kanayas sewing needle broke urgent

TG:or that time we found callies art book urgent

TT: Karkat’s ninth wriggling day urgent.

TG: oh fuck

TG: why didnt u say that sooner

TG: sometimes he still brings up the idea of watching love actually and i have to be the one to remind him of that

dark day

TT: Dave.

TG: right making it hapen got it brt

 

—-

 

“ _The roof_ ”, generally, was accepted as Jane’s company roof on Earth C. It had the best view, away from everything, while still embracing everything. Windy days promised breeze and sunny days promised warmth. And Jane would only _sometimes_ come and shoo them away.

“So, why the peanut gallery?” Rose deadpanned almost immediately upon seeing that not only Dave, but Jade and John also tagged along to their meeting. It came out rather defensively, as if they were strangers and not friends, and she frowned. This was rather greatly affecting her psyche, wasn’t it?

“We came as fast as we could!” John said with a panicked voice as he landed.

“I can see that. Dave, not that I don’t enjoy our friends’ company….”

“Team effort.” Dave, who also seemed a bit out of breath, explained. “You said it was serious.”

“I said it was _urgent_.” She didn’t really remember if that was true, but as long as she said it with enough malice and annoyance, it might as well be.

“We’re here to help!” Jade said with a proud salute. Her little dog ears twitched, too.

Rose sighed. Dramatically, with every cell in her being, with every fiber of her, and with every essence of her bitterly humorous existence.

“....Wow,” John commented, with a grimace. “That bad, huh?”

“ _No._ ” She corrected, crossing her arms childishly.

“It has to be!” Jade insisted. “You went to _Dave_ for help. You usually go to Kanaya for any problems.”

“That’s………” Rose paused, wondering how she could possibly lie herself out of this one. “Hardly true.”

“One time you had a problem with the way Kanaya was using air quotes, and you vented to _her_ about it.”

“... It was wrong.” She said simply.

“Soooooooo…….” Dave looked a little frustrated, it was hard to tell sometimes on his 80% emotionless face (a habit he was starting to break). “No emergency?”

“No emergency.” Rose lied.

“No life-altering scenarios?”

“None.”

“No crazy, incredible discoveries?”

“....” Rose frowned, hesitating, so Jade sat down on the roof with a smile, patting the floor in front of her. After a few moments of thought, she sighed and sat down in her assigned place, John and Dave following suit.

“... Be honest when I ask this question,” Rose started, and her audience nodded. “What’s your opinion on … children?”

Rose watched as her friend’s expressions shifted, confusion and grimaces merging into one solid expression of _what?_

“Like, _kid_ -kids?” John asked.

“I wasn’t aware there was any other kind.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you meant kids like us!” John defended, and only then did Rose realize she had replied rather maliciously.

“Bro,” Dave sighed. “We’re like…….20. We’re fucking old.”

“Yeah, but when you’re immortal that kind of stuff doesn’t really matter anymore!” Jade cheerily supplied.

“Old geezers in pj’s eating oldie food.” Dave continued, his words running past Jade’s like a speeding train.  “Like oatmeal. And granola bars without chocolate pieces.”

“I like oatmeal!” Jade defended.

“Yeah but you’ve been an old man since you were like, six.” Dave supplied, and Jade laughed.

“Six and a half, thank you very much.”

“ _Ahem_ !” Rose loudly cleared her throat, with enough force that she felt her vocal chords get upset with her momentarily. Though it might of been partly due to this morning’s breakfast…. _expedition_ with Kanaya in an attempt to get her wife to do literally anything but discuss what had been brought to the table the previous night. “Can we, for once, stay on topic? This is serious.”

“I thought it was urgent?” John corrected.

“What could be so serious about kids?” Jade yawned. “Are the brooding caverns getting to you, Rose?”

She hesitated. “...Possibly. I just find it…. Fascinating, how maturity changes our perception on the world. Our first experience with babies was… What? As thirteen year olds?  And half of them were quite literally us.”

“So, what’re you saying?” Jade asked, and John also nodded with confusion.

“I’m asking what are your opinions on children.” She stated again thinly, and with heavy frustration. She didn’t want to keep repeating this. It was exhausting enough saying it once.

“Like, having them….?” John grimaced. “I dunno. Who would I even have them with?”

Jade nodded. “Plus, they’re a lot of work.”

“I can’t risk it. It’s gonna be smarter than me.” Dave chimed in, almost entirely serious. “It’s gonna have too much sass, and it’ll probably give Karkat a stress aneurysm.”

“So, you’ve considered it?” Rose asked, clinging onto the slight hope her sibling proposed as she leaned forward, closer, obviously interested- and not even in a psychoanalytic manner.

Which was the most bitter tasting pill of the entire situation.

“Uh,” Dave, now a bit unsettled, leaned back the section Rose had leaned forward. “Not really?”

Rose felt the chill of embarrassment burn her skin. She had to fix this.

“You just stated otherwise.” She pushed, she pressed, she urged and fought for the chance that she could actually speak about her feelings with _someone_ of her own species.

“I mean,” Dave tried not to fumble, and thanked a god (John, in particular) his shades hid the way he was breaking eye contact under pressure. “Not really- fuck, okay, I mean, I guess maybe once or twice I thought about it? But as a joke.”

Rose leaned away, frowning. This was no good. “Hm.”

“I think babies are cute!” Jade, bless her, swooped in and saved Rose. “I mean, I don’t really think I’m fit to be a mom, I don’t even really know what a mom does?”

A round of ‘ _same_ ’’s came from the other kids.

“But I’d be lying if I didn’t think they were cute!” She continued. “I’d love to learn to maybe take care of some someday, like in the brooding caverns with you and Kanaya!”

“Think about how loud they are though!” John interrupted, pushing his glasses up with a sigh. “I think they’re probably less cute when you don’t have a choice to opt-out. Plus….. It’s like….” he paused, holding onto thin air like it was a newborn, grasping for the right words for his next sentence. “A real person! You have to raise them and if they turn out bad that’s your fault!!”

“Exactly.” Rose said with a relieved sigh. Finally, some closure that she wasn’t the only one who understood. “It’s still rather confusing how people so willingly risk that in futile attempts to raise children and start families in a never ending cycle! And yet, how many times does it really fail…?” She became more distant now, without realizing so. “Are the chances of failure not worth the risk to see the outcome of raising someone to the best of your ability and watching them grow into another mirror image of yourself? Or, perhaps, that’s what’s most frightening of it all?” She wondered, trailing off.

She tried to ignore the weird looks the three gave her.

“This coming from someone who completely and utterly fucking despised her mom’s attempts to find some similarities between them two?” Dave questioned.

Rose huffed. This was hardly the same.

“That was hardly the same. That was just the naivety of a child juxtaposed by a woman who had clear alcoholism issues. I learned she wasn’t a villain- maybe antagonistic, but hardly a villain.” She reassured, and pretended she wasn’t merely reassuring herself.

“I guess part of the kid-experience is seeing your old folks as antagonists for a while,” John chimed in, shrugging. “And you grow up, and realize maybe they weren’t that bad. Maybe a little rough around the edges, but not bad.”

“Yeah,” Dave waltzed in to argue, because he could, and he would, and he needed to. “Or you grow up to learn who you idolize was actually pretty fucking shitty, and you have to deal with the

giant ass pandora’s box of baggage as you trek through life and try not to dump it on any one else.”

It grew silent for a moment.

“Or that.” Jade concluded.

“And then you fail, and you dump it on them anyway like they’re your personal baggage-boy.” Dave continued, wiping Jade’s conclusion off their metaphorical whiteboard. He shrugged. “It’s okay, ‘cause usually they’ve got some too, so it’s just a seesaw of emotional turmoil. One complex, age-old powermove after another. And your psyches are the ones bouncing joyfully on it, having a fucking ball. But it’s somewhat even playing field, and then you learn to live with it and it becomes easier to seesaw, you know?”

Rose nodded. She followed.

“Yeah, but then isn’t having a kid or two making it worse?” Jade pointed out. “Then _they_ become your baggage-boys, and that’s unfair!”

“Well, yeah, that’s why you gotta unpack that shit before the babies get there. Unpack it and stuff it away in some boxes in the back of the closet that you refuse to get rid of because you’re a hoarder, but you just keep it outta sight- outta mind. Baby-proof your life, you know?” He picked up a stray pebble on the top of the roof and tossed it off the side of it, listening to how it clanged against the white fire escape. “But like, emotionally.”

“Well, that would be the wisest thing to do from a subjective standpoint, but it doesn’t always work like that.” Rose defended. “Children don’t always come with a warning notice with time for all that.”

“No, shit,” Dave gave a slight laugh. “That’s why there’s kids that end up like us.”

Rose sighed a bit. It was true, but it wasn’t helping in easing her nerves at the concept of being doomed to be a horrible mother, like the mother she had painted and sculpted and knitted together in her mind for years and years….

“Oh, come on, you two!” John’s voice pierced through and wafted away the gloominess and slight scent of Crocker Corp pastries- Jane’s company must’ve just finished a batch of something.

“Enough with all that doom and gloom talk- We all turned out pretty good! Jade didn’t even have parents, and now she’s a literal God-Dog!” He grinned, and Jade’s dog ears twitched happily at the sound of her own name.

“And you two got cool alien babes that love you a whole lot in their weird, complex, alien sort-of-way, _and_ we got to meet our teen-parents who actually turned out to be really cool. Even if things weren’t great with your guardians growing up,” He directed this at Rose and Dave now. “You guys at least have Roxy and Dirk now to make it better, and they have you guys, too.”

Rose felt her heart squeeze as a smile bloomed on her face. While this isn’t what she came to talk about today, something about it was more along the lines of what she needed to hear.

It gave her an idea to exercise in the near future.

Dave yawned, stretched, and gave John a small grin. “Okay, true, got it, time to stop being all sad and shit,” He leaned back now, laying flat on the roof and staring up at the clouded sky above them.

“Back on topic: So, Rose? What’s all this really about?” He asked, and before she could continue, before she could backtrack and save her skin, save her pride, save her dignity, he interrupted with some god-awful words Rose wishes she could ask him to turn back time and unhear:

“Got baby-fever now?”

Nonchalantly.

As if Rose herself wasn’t having some sort of midlife crisis. Or the equivalency of a midlife crisis when one’s an immortal god.

She felt her face heat up with both anger and shame she couldn’t quite explain.

Who was she kidding? Even without that factor, she would still be much too young to be having a midlife crisis. And yet? Her psyche had different plans.

“Absolutely not.” She practically scoffed. Because it was ridiculous, absurd, and utterly senseless and just unremarkably stupid for him to even insinuate.

“Kanaya seducing you with her motherly-wiles? All up and cooking up internal baby powder to inject into your blood with her sharp ass teeth- Jade help me out here, I don’t know shit about the female anatomy or how babies work.”

Rose rolled her eyes, and let out a hopeless groan.

“How the hell do you expect me to know how babies work- we all came out of slime.”

This wasn’t working.

“Jade, oh my god.”

As much as she loved them, Dave, John and Jade were going to be terrible attempts at getting anywhere with this.

She was going to have to seek knowledge from elsewhere....

 

**_Rose: seek help from the Other Side_ **

“What are you doing.” Kanaya said rather than asked, as she walked into the living room.

“Oh, you know….” Rose glanced down at the ritual circle surrounding her where she sat on the floor, the white powder of the chalk still on her fingertips as she held a book with a very scribbly language etched into its pages.

Kanaya did not look impressed.

“Asking for advice.”

Kanaya walked over and removed the book from Rose’s grip, not stopping despite her wife’s protests.

The gesture felt…. motherly.

“Stop summoning other worldly demons in the living room, I’ve told you plenty times.” The troll huffed with annoyance. “It’s impossible to scrub their blood and ink off the carpet here, and I’m satisfied enough with the decor currently that I don’t want to search for another loungeplank in this style.”

Rose pouted, childishly, and Kanaya patted her head as she headed out of the room again.

Much too _motherly._

It made her shudder.

Looks like Rose would need to seek help from the _Other, Other side._

\---

Rose sighed heavily as she knocked on the door to Terezi and Vriska’s hive. She was already regretting this.

But, this was going to be the only other way to get answers, so she did her best to ignore the complete disarray the hive was in. The dust and the clothes and the pieces of chalk that scattered into her lungs and made her cough and black glass littered about and an odd, translucent blue liquid drying to and staining the tile flooring that Rose was praying to anyone, anything that would listen that it was just liquid from an 8-ball, and sat on an only-semi-torn-to-pieces beanbag chair. Some of the plastic beans spilled out.

She was suddenly less ungrateful for the way Kanaya’s only mess was sewing supplies and fabrics.

“Could you try to look at least a little less disgusted? Geez, Lalonde,” Vriska rolled her eyes as she sat on what Rose was assuming was a chair piled up with clean clothes, ready to be folded and put away, and yet clearly was functioning primarily as a chair.

Her fingers itched to fold them all and put them away. Kanaya truly did wear off on her, hadn’t she?

“I am doing no such thing.” Rose corrected. She held a cup with what she assumed was coffee- but she could never truly trust it to be that simple with a Serket. Especially with certain Serket’s ~~babysitter~~ moirail nowhere to be found.

Moirail was a very, very loose term, as well. Rose wasn’t sure what the two had decided on being that day.

“You’re being sooooooo judgy and mentally picking apart everything you see, I can tell,” Vriska said proudly. She seemed to have the idea that she knew Rose cover-to-cover simply because they were both Light Players. The idea crawled and nestled itself deep in Rose’s skin, and made her angry beyond belief. “You just want an answer without asking your _painfully obvious_ question.”

Not that she let it show, obviously, because why let Vriska have such a powermove over her?

“Not judging.” She corrected. “Simply…. Wondering why this place looks as chaotic as it does and wondering if death from dust build up would be heroic or just.”

Vriska forced a laugh, and Rose wondered if she had to count out eight laughs still, or if it came as natural instinct to her by now.

“See, that? That’s called acting.”

“I can’t see much above the innumerable piles of clothes and what I’m assuming is stuffing from Terezi’s… scalemates?” She stopped herself from using ‘dragons’, because she remembered the hour long explanation she had to give to Terezi one day about what a dragon was, and she actively tried to burn the sound of the other Seer’s tongue slurping up the page that held a shitty dragon Dave drew. “But I’ll try my very best.”

Vriska didn’t hold out much longer, and simply told Rose the answer to her unasked question.

“Terezi’s doing some hive-maintenance, and she likes to do it all herself, because it's easier for her to remember where things are laid out that way. So she told me to leave it be.”

She crossed her arms and gave the Seer a smirk that made Rose want to rip apart the remaining beanbag chair beneath her because _how dare she act as if Rose was someone at her complete mercy and like there was any competition to be had at all and as if she was just easily spinning her web around Rose and pulling her into her little mind games, as if Rose wasn’t intelligent enough to see_ exactly _what was happening, and as if there was any form of rhyme or reason for such tiny, but psychologically loaded challenges at all_.

Besides, Kanaya was much more of a formidable player in this game, of a fair player, of a player that she could feel comfortable and secure with. A player that didn’t have a body count she couldn’t defend. A player with a strategy as well thought-out and planned as her own, and one without a horribly regulated and intensely vacillating quadrant plane.

(Well, partly, but it was only between Kanaya and herself, so it didn’t matter, and it was their own personal secret from the world, and she greatly intended to keep it that way, just with actions and not much thought and just comfortably subconscious, thank you very much.)

“So, maybe you shouldn’t be so quick to judge a book by its cover.” The other continued, smugly. Rose ignored it for her own well being.

“Well, that doesn’t make much sense, now does it?”Rose faked confusion, continuing. “We all know you still relish in advances to torment each other, so it’s fairly easy to piece together that you will be moving things around simply to cause her mild annoyance and distress, now wouldn’t it?”

“Well that’s just all part of my amaaaaaaaazing charm, isn’t it?” A giggle. With eight trills in it. Because of course it did.

Rose, mostly on instinct, raised the coffee up to her lips and took a sip.

It took all of her willpower, and some years off of her (immortal) life not to gag and spit it out.

Salt.

Vriska replaced the sugar with salt, possibly in an attempt to establish herself as at least minor threat even though the situation didn’t call for it. She wasn’t sure. Sometimes Vriska just did things simply because she was Vriska, and that harbored little and simultaneously all explanation.

However, Rose wasn’t about to let Vriska feel victory.

She braced herself, and took another sip just to prove her point, and channeled her inner Strider Poker Face.

“Impeccable charm, truly.” Rose nodded. She needed to hit Vriska where it hurt so they could get on with it, entertaining as this was. “Which quadrant is it today, might I ask? Red? Is that why you’re being thoughtful enough to let her work on it like she requested?”

It seemed to hit a nerve, it seemed to work, because Vriska’s demeanor quickly shifted. She narrowed her eyes at her fellow Light Player. “Why are you here?”

Rose knew her boundaries with Vriska, learned them long ago, and she knew that if she wanted to leave this hive with answers, and an intact friendship (or whatever this was), this was the end of the line for playful banter, and delving any further into her fragile and ever-changing feelings for Terezi would need to end.

A conversation for another day, a day where Rose would bring her notepad and pen.

“I am here to ask a few…. Questions.”

\---

**_Karkat: Meddle_ **

CG: FIRST OF ALL

CG: I’M GOING TO TRY TO TAKE AS LITTLE PERSONAL OFFENSE TO THIS AS I CAN.

CG: SHIT LIKE THIS IS PRETTY MUCH REQUIRED TO COME TO YOUR MOIRAIL FOR. YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT? WHY ELSE AM I HERE? YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY GIVE ME THE OPPORTUNITIES TO HELP, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT?

CG: I’M NOT LIKE THAT SPIDER 8ITCH OF AN EX, I’M ACTUALLY HERE ON EQUAL GROUNDS. SO I’M GENUINELY RATTLING MY PAN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHERE ELSE THE FUCK YOU COULD BE DUMPING ALL THIS EMOTIONAL DISCHARGE, IF NOT ME?

CG: IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE?

CG: FUCK. THERE IS, ISN’T THERE?

CG: IS IT BECAUSE OF ME AND DAVE?

CG: AND OUR LACK OF FUCKING ANY BOUNDARIES?

CG: I PROMISE OUR DATES AND JAMS ARE STRICTLY PLATONIC.

CG: WAIT, FUCK.

CG: I MEAN THEY ARE ROMANTIC!!! CONCUPISCENT!!

CG: GOD, THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING.

CG: JUST FORGET ALL THE GARBAGE THAT I JUST TYPED.

CG: PLEASE.

GA: What

CG: OH THANK GOD.

GA: What Are You Even Going On About Karkat

CG: NOTHING.

GA: What Have You Worked Yourself Up About Now

GA: All That Ive Been Able To Understand From This

GA: Is That You Fear Theres Someone Else Im Seeking For Pale Activities

CG: NO, NO, PLEASE IGNORE THAT.

GA: I Will Do No Such Thing

GA: Dear Ive Told You Countless Times Dont Worry About That

GA: Im Afraid Youre Rather Stuck With Me

GA: <>

CG: ....

CG: <>

GA: As Well As The Fact That Whatever Antics You Get Up To With Dave

GA: Dont Really Bother Me

GA: I Think Part Of The Human-Dating Experience Is Quadrant Hopping Occasionally

CG: ….

GA: Not That Either Of Them Would Replace Each Other

GA: Its Just That It Seems Humans Really Do Have A “Lack Of Fucking Any Boundaries”

CG: EXACTLY!! BUT NICE MOVE, MARYAM, IT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT. I SEE YOU SCUTTERING AWAY FROM MY ATTEMPTS TO PACIFY YOU.

CG: I SEE YOU MARYAM.

CG: YOU LIKE THE THRILL OF THE CHASE.

GA: …

CG: THE UNEXPECTED TWIST OF BEING FLUSHED WITH SOMETHING DANGEROUS. NEVER KNOWING WHAT COMES NEXT. IT’S WHY YOU MARRIED ROSE.

CG: SPEED OF THE HUNT.

CG: THRILL OF THE CHASE.

CG: SO, NATURALLY, YOU’RE EXPECTING ME TO CHASE YOU TOO, BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT YOUR DAYWALKER-PAN SCHOOLFED YOU FOR SWEEPS WAS DESIRABLE.

CG: BUT GUESS FUCKING WHAT?

GA: What

CG: I’M AN IDIOT AND I’M GOING TO CHASE ANYWAY. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT MOIRAILS DO.

CG: SO

GA: Also Vriska Is Hardly That Terrible Anymore And Its Poor Manners To Bash Her Like That

CG: OH NO. WE AGREED ON THIS JAM, REMEMBER? SHE HURT YOU. ITS OKAY TO HATE HER.

GA: But I Dont

GA: And You Shouldnt Either

GA: Shes Changed

GA: It Was All Wigglers Play We Hardly Just Hatched

CG: WHY SHOULDN’T I? QUITE LITERALLY IGNORING ALL THE OTHER INSANE AND DESTRUCTIVE AND BORDERLINE PSYCHOPATHIC BULLSHIT SHE PULLED FOR A MINUTE HERE: SHE HURT YOU.

GA: Goodness Karkat That Was So Many Sweeps Ago

GA: Its Alright If Youre Angry For The Things Worth Being Angry Over

GA: But Despite It Being Extremely Sweet And Endearing Being Angry On My Behalf For Something So Meaningless Is Not One Of The Things Worth Being Angry Over

GA: And Quite Frankly Im More Than Recovered From A Grubish Crush That Served Me Little To No Benefits And Purpose

GA: As Well As It Being Primarily My Own Fault That It Hurt Me At All In The First Place

CG: OKAY, WELL, YEAH. NOW I FEEL PRETTY FUCKING GRUBISH IN YOU SAYING THAT. BUT I JUST DON’T TRUST HER SPIDER-Y WAYS. I HAVE NO CLUE HOW THE HELL TEREZI PUTS UP WITH HER, BUT I GUESS SOMEONE HAS TO.

CG: I GUESS IT JUST STILL MAKES ME SO ANGRY FOR YOU THAT SHE NEVER REALLY APOLOGIZED FOR HURTING HER MOIRAIL.

GA: …..

CG: (PLEASE DON’T OVERREAD INTO THAT, I KNOW, I CAN HEAR ROSE’S THERAPY VOICE ALREADY, I KNOW)

GA: (Okay I Wont)

GA: Is This Animosity I Should Be

GA: Uh

GA: Concerned About

GA: Side Eyes Emoticon

CG: FIRST OF ALL: FUCK NO. THAT’S GENUINELY SO FUCKING VILE MY ACID TRACK JUST CURLED IN ON ITSELF AND DISINTEGRATED.

CG: SECOND, AND IT PAINS ME TO EVEN SAY THIS: IT’S EMOJI

CG: PLEASE DON’T MAKE ME EXPLAIN WHY I KNOW THAT.

GA: Whats The Difference

CG: BETWEEN WHAT?

GA: The Hate Topic Obviously

CG: OH. WELL, FUCK ME, SORRY IF I COULDN’T SOLVE THAT PUZZLE WITH THAT 3 WORD HINT.

GA: No That Was Sarcasm

CG: OH.

GA: I Meant The Emoji

GA: That Was Truthful

CG: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW???? THAT’S NOT WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT HERE!!

GA: Well What Are We Talking About Then

CG: DSAHHGFDGJAGSJD

GA: What

CG: DEFINITELY NOT SERKET AND HER TRAGIC QUADRANT PLANE, THATS FOR SURE.

CG: IN FACT, NOTHING ABOUT HER AT ALL.

CG: IN FACT-FACT, WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT, OR EMOJIS, OR STUPID ANTICS WE GOT UP TO WHEN WE WERE SIX, OR ANYTHING ELSE.

CG: THE ONLY DISTURBING QUADRANT PLANE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT IS YOURS.

GA: My Own

GA: Whats Wrong With My Own

 

\---

Rose tried not to make it obvious.

Kanaya, bless her, tried not to make it obvious she noticed.

But she did. How couldn’t she?

Rose wondered if it was in the smallest squeeze she had given her wife’s hand, or in the lightest gasp, or in the way they both paused in their conversation.

Right outside the window of the cafe, Rose couldn’t help but feel her heart skip a small step, Kanaya couldn’t help but hear the skip, two carapace mothers with twin daughters chattered about happily, their twins dressed in ridiculous bows and frills and with happy smiles and warm promises, and Rose felt her heart squeeze when her brain supplied her with thoughts before she could help herself.

Thoughts of her and Kanaya and two twin daughters dressed up in ridiculous bows and frills and happy smiles and all clustered together in their warm hive eating meals or celebrating holidays or smiling up at them with Kanaya’s smile and….

Rose cleared her throat, and promptly continued her sentence that she had been so rudely interrupted with before, and tried to ignore the way Kanaya was watching her with sad eyes.

\---

CG: DAVE TOLD ME.

CG: OR, RATHER, HE TRIED. HE DOESN’T EVEN REALLY KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON.

GA: Told You What

CG: ABOUT WHAT ROSE TOLD HIM.

GA: What

GA: What Did She Tell Him

CG: DON’T PLAY DUMB WITH ME, KANAYA.

GA: Im Not Playing

CG: ….

CG: DO YOU REALLY NOT KNOW?

CG: SHIT.

GA: Know What

GA: Please Tell Me

GA: Is Rose Not Telling Me Something

GA: Oh No

GA: Usually Shes Much More Expressive When Shes Upset

GA: A Passive Aggressor

GA: Did I Do Something To Upset Her That Much That Shes Resorted To Something New

CG: WHAT?

CG: CALM DOWN. I CAN PRACTICALLY FEEL YOU OVERREACTING.

CG: YOU DIDN’T DO ANYTHING, I PROBABLY SHOULD’VE PHRASED IT BETTER, BUT SHE’S NOT MAD AT YOU.

CG: OR LIKE, TALKING ABOUT IT BEHIND YOUR BACK?

CG: AT LEAST I THINK?

CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT THE BABY THING.

GA: …

GA: Oh

GA: That

CG: YES “Oh That”. WHY DIDN’T YOU COME TALK TO ME ABOUT IT?

GA: I Was Going To

GA: Eventually

GA: I Too Have No Idea Whats Going On

\---

“Kanaya, darling, look at this,” Rose says one day in the brooding caverns with some sort of enchantment in her voice, so naturally, Kanaya hurries over.

“What is it?”

Rose turns to face her, and Kanaya’s not sure she’s ever seen that sort of soft, accomplished, and rightfully proud expression on her face, but it looks beautiful, and she hopes Rose wears it more often. It brings out her eyes and the color on her cheeks.

She’s about to ask again what was wrong, before she notices the fuschia blooded wiggler in Rose’s arms. It’s quiet, and upon closer inspection, Kanaya notices it’s calmly asleep, occasionally twitching but otherwise peaceful.

And Rose is smiling at it in a way she’s never seen her wife smile before, but it makes it feel like her bloodpusher is melting on the spot.

“Watch out, Kanaya, maybe I’m getting better at this after all.” Rose tries to be quiet, for the wiggler’s sake, and it just gives Kanaya some complex emotion she doesn’t know how to compute so she just feels it engulf her quietly, she feels speechless and all-around enchanted as well. She steps closer so she can see the wiggler, and she doesn’t even realize she’s smiling brightly down at it until later that evening in the middle of dinner.

“Going to give me a run for my Boondollars.” Kanaya agrees, and Rose gives a light laugh.

 

It’s clear later in the evening, once the spell has worn off, it's a difficult topic to broach, for reasons neither quite understands, so they don’t bring it up again.

\---

CG: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?

GA: I Mean I Dont Know

CG: THANKS FOR CLEARING IT UP.

GA: Humans Seemed To Be Schoolfed All Their Lives That Its Ideal To Have A Family And Raise Kids

GA: Rose Told Me That Even Evolutionarily And Instinctively Their Bodies Will Sometimes Cloud Their Pans And Tell Them To Mate

CG: WHAT THE FUCK? THAT SOUNDS TO PRIMITIVE.

GA: Thats What I Said

CG: FOR FUCKS SAKE KANAYA, YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY, DID YOU?

GA: …

GA: No

CG: KANAYA.

GA: I Apologized After

CG: GOOD.

GA: But Im Not Explaining Correctly

GA: The Way She Explains It Makes Much More Sense

GA: And My Poor Translation Of It Just Makes It Sound Terrible

CG: KINDA, YEAH.

GA: They Dont Need To Mate

GA: Its More Of A Friendly Suggestion

CG: OH. THAT MAKES MORE SENSE.

GA: Rose Also Says That She Believes Her Thoughts May Arise Because The Conditions Are Favorable And Because Her Body Type Is Fit To Carry Young

CG: WAIT

CG: TO DO WHAT NOW?

\---

Kanaya feels herself tense a bit when the television show they’re watching mentions the importance of a full and happy family.

She sneaks a glance at Rose, who is actively knitting. She doesn’t seem phased, but she is knitting faster.

Later that night, Kanaya tries to bring it up, but she’s fairly easily distracted by Rose’s other agenda, which seems to be an experiment to how hard exactly she needs to bite at Kanaya’s bottom lip to get a rise out of her (an experiment which she has repeated many times over, rest assured), so Kanaya drops it again in favor of lifting Rose up and over to their bed.

It isn’t even until she stirs the next day and notices the dark, red and purple bite marks on her wife’s neck does she even realize she had been distracted in the first place.

\---

GA: Some Humans Can Internally Carry Their Young While It Develops

GA: Like An Egg

CG: WHAT THE FUCK

CG: I THOUGHT DAVE WAS KIDDING ABOUT THAT

GA: I Can See Why You Would Think That

GA: But Ive Become

GA: Somewhat Well Versed In The Reproductive System Of An Offspring Bearing Human

GA: Wink Emoticon

GA: I Mean Emoji

CG: FUCK, JUST

CG: STOP. I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT WHATEVER HORRORTERRORS ROSE LALONDE POSSESSES

GA: Lalonde-Maryam*

GA: And Sorry

CG: YOU’RE REALLY NOT

GA: Im Really Not

CG: WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS, THOUGH?

GA: I Guess

GA: Perhaps

GA: …

GA: Hm

CG: HM?

GA: I Suppose Im Scared

GA: Because I Dont Know How To Do Things Like The Humans Did

GA: And Im Worried Rose Simply Wants What She Cant Have And If We Do Something Risky She Will Hate It

GA: And

GA: I Dont Know How To Raise An Entire Person

GA: Or Troll

CG: HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT?

GA: No

CG: I MEAN AFTER SHE BROUGHT IT UP.

GA: Oh

GA: Maybe

GA: I Wanted To Talk To You About It But I Havent Had The Chance

CG: WELL YOU HAVE THE CHANCE NOW.

CG: TALK TO ME.

GA: …

CG: …

CG: (IF WE HAVE TO DO IT IN THE WHISPER NOODLES WE WILL)

GA: (No Its Fine)

GA: I Guess

GA: Im Worried To Make A Mistake

CG: KANAYA

CG: IF ANY OF US STUPID, STUPID DUMBASSES CAN RAISE A BABY, ITS YOU.

CG: I MEAN IT’S QUITE LITERALLY YOUR JOB.

GA: Thats Different

CG: HOW SO?

GA: …

GA: Uh

GA: Hm

CG: EXACTLY

GA: Shoosh

CG: I SHOULD BE SHOOSHING YOU!!

CG: LISTEN I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING. THAT IT’S RIDICULOUS, YOU CAN’T DO THAT, BECAUSE THAT’S NOT WHAT THEY DO ON ALTERNIA. THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS SCHOOLFED. THAT’S NOT WHAT SOCIETY SAID WAS RIGHT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

CG: FUCK THAT NOISE.

CG: IT WAS LITERALLY ALL JUST MUSCLEBEASTSHIT. NONE IF IT MATTERS ANYMORE.

CG: FOR FUCKS SAKE KANAYA YOU GOT HUMAN MARRIED

CG: WHAT IN THE HELL AND THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN TO TROLLS LIKE US? TROLLS FROM ALTERNIA?

CG: WHICH, NEED I REMIND YOU, DOESN’T EXIST ANYMORE.

CG: BYE BYE, ALTERNIA!! BYE BYE ALL THOSE STUPID, MADE UP RULES ABOUT ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING!!

CG: LIKE, OKAY YEAH THAT SHIT IS WHAT WE GREW UP WITH AND IT'S SCARY TO LET IT ALL GO BECAUSE IT DEFINED US SO MUCH, BUT AT THE SAME TIME….

CG: WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO LOSE SUCH A STUPID PART OF A CULTURE THAT DIED WITH US ON THAT GODAWFUL METEOR? WHO ELSE IS GOING TO FOLLOW THAT HERE EXCEPT US? ABSOLUTELY NO ONE. ALL THE NEW EARTH C TROLLS HAVE A NEW CULTURE AND SOCIETY AND MINDSET THAT ISN’T BENT ON CONTROLLING US ALL AND KEEPING US CAGEFED.

CG: NOW, I’M NOT SAYING YOU HAVE TO GO OUT AND RAISE A MILLION GRUBS. OR EVEN JUST ONE.

CG: I’M NOT EVEN SAYING ITS NOT WEIRD- BECAUSE YEAH, EVERYTHING IN MY PAN CANNOT COMPREHEND WHAT THE HUMAN FASCINATION OF BECOMING A LUSUS IS.

CG: ALL I’M SAYING IS YOU DON’T HAVE TO STOP YOURSELF FROM EXPERIENCING SOMETHING NEW JUST BECAUSE OF SOMETHING ALTERNIA TOLD US TO LIVE BY.

CG: ALTERNIA TOLD US TO LIVE BY A LOT OF FUCKED UP STANDARDS, SO WHO KNOWS?

CG: …

CG: I STOPPED BELIEVING IN A LOT OF THAT SHIT AFTER DAVE POINTED IT OUT.

CG: HE SAID THERE WAS SOMETHING SIMILAR ON HIS OLD EARTH, TOO, ABOUT LOVE AND HOMOSEXUALITY AND WHATEVER THE HELL THAT IS ALL ABOUT. I DIDN’T REALLY UNDERSTAND IT, BUT HE BASICALLY SAID THAT HE FIGURED OUT THAT BY LETTING GO OF A FEW SCHOOLFED THINGS HE COULD BE HAPPY.

CG: AND THAT’S WHY HE STOPPED BEING SCARED ABOUT BEING “FLUSHED FOR A GUY”.

GA: Ah

CG: YEAH.

CG: AND I UH

CG: LEARNED THAT SOMETIMES THE QUADRANT SYSTEM IS

CG: NOT FOOLPROOF OR SET IN STONE FOR EVERYONE

GA: Sometimes

CG: SOMETIMES, YEAH <>

GA: Thank You Karkat

GA: I Think Thats Truly What I Needed To Hear

GA: And I Think That I Will Think About It

GA: And Talk To Rose

CG: TELL ME WHEN YOU DO.

GA: Of Course <>

\---

 

On one hand, it seemed as though Rose had dropped the child topic just as quickly as she had brought it up.

And yet, on the other, Kanaya could very well tell when her Wife was upset, and that she hadn’t let it go quite yet.

Kanaya didn’t believe she was quite upset at her, but rather embarrassed at herself. Rose seemed to be defensive. And when she became defensive, her old habits arose, whether she realized or not.

And to top it all off, she wouldn’t let Kanaya speak to her about it.

Which was proving to just further frustrate Kanaya herself.

“You know,” Rose said once, over lunch, Karkat was over for a paledate to watch some ridiculous romcom (Karkat promised there were potentially inspirational fashion choices, so naturally Kanaya agreed. For Research.), and he was surprisingly quiet and reverent as he ate (which was incredibly endearing to Kanaya, because it meant her moirail was enjoying his food). “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were questioning my ability and intelligence, My Dearest Kanaya?”

Kanaya looked up at that- at the petname, the ones they only used when they had arguments. She tried to backtrack the last few minutes, but it made no sense. What happened?

Karkat spared her a glance, clearly just as confused. All she asked for was the snack mineral.

“...Rose,” Kanaya began, quickly realizing it was going to be ‘ _One Of Those Days’_. “All I’ve asked of you was to pass me the salt.” She finished calmly, praying that it wouldn’t get out of hand while Karkat was still there. The last thing she wanted was to have him worry over this.

“Yes, that is true.” Rose nodded, now standing from the table. Karkat ate faster. “But, I think more of the intent lies within the way you said it. I _can_ pass it- I very much am capable of passing it, yes. I’m not an idiot.”

Kanaya didn’t understand what could’ve possibly caused her Matesprit to become upset.“....I quite literally only asked for the salt.”

Rose gave her a sweet smile that twisted at her bloodpusher, and calmly handed her the snack mineral shaker as she made her way out of the room with unnecessary dramatics.

“Here you go, sweetheart.”

Kanaya narrowed her eyes, but took it anyway. If she hadn’t, then they would truly have an argument.

“Thank you, darling.”

They would need to talk about it later. When no one was listening.

Kanaya gave her moirail a smile, and sprinkled the snack mineral on his food for him.

“......What the hell was that?

“What was what?”

Karkat motioned dramatically to where Rose had all but waltzed out of the room.

“....” Kanaya spared Karkat another smile, but he gave her a determined look, so she let out a frustrated groan.

“Karkat,” she said warningly. “Don’t Romance-coach me.”

“I’m not!” He insisted. “I wasn’t!”

A pause. A change of topic. “You haven’t spoken to her about it yet, have you?”

Kanaya sighed, slightly annoyed at the entire situation. “Does it seem like I have? Like I could have?”

“I was just asking!” Karkat defended, and Kanaya was getting tired of all this defending going on around here.

The entire encounter left a bitter taste in Kanaya’s mouth. Slowly bubbling up inside her, and while nothing happened while Karkat was still around, Kanaya quickly found something that had her practically seeing spades once he left.

“Rose, my dear,” She asked as she approached the Seer, who seemed content just curled up on the loungeplank with a book she was clearly not reading. She flipped the page, and didn’t look up. Kanaya was torn between pouncing on her and leaving to go to bed for the evening.

“Yes, my Lovely Kanaya?”

Kanaya gripped onto the kitchen towel she hadn’t realized she had stomped over with.

“I am quite certain I asked you to clean the nutrition plateaus for almost two days now.”

Rose looked up, fluttered her eyelashes innocently. “You mean the dishes?”

Kanaya tried not to let her anger show too easily. As if she hadn’t known, as if it wasn’t obvious what she meant by nutrition plateaus by now.

“... Yes, I mean the dishes.”

Rose flipped a page in her book and wistfully sighed.

“Well,” She started, and Kanaya tried not to grind her teeth. “Since you seem so insistent to treat me like a child, I decided I’ll just have to act like a child.”

Kanaya blinked. “What?”

“Like a wiggler, like a grub,” Rose glanced up again. “Since you seem to be oh-so-good with those.”

“What is this really about?” Kanaya tried to push past all the walls Rose was building up.

“I just told you, darling.”

That was her last fraying thread. Kanaya tossed the towel roughly to the floor. Rose looked up again, surprise faintly peeking through her poker face.

“Possibly consider that the reason I have to treat you like a _child_ is because you begin to _act_ like one!”

Rose tossed her book towards the coffee table, and stood up.

“ _Maybe_ consider that the reason is because you _insist_ to continue to fuss and mother me! Like a ….. Well, like a _mother_!”

Kanaya was tired of _this_ argument.

Truly, they rarely did argue. They bickered, with playful banter intended to get a rise out of the other, all with smirks and laced up with sexual tension, but arguments weren’t common at all.

In fact, whenever they did, it seemed to be generally the same argument: this one.

“Rose.” Kanaya stepped forward, too, because if Rose wanted to have this argument again, she was going to have it again. “I am _not_ your Human Mother.”

A pause, a lapse in judgment, and Rose tried to cover it up by crossing her arms. “I never said you were.”

“Funny,” Kanaya didn’t find it funny. “Because you seem to _insist_ that I am.”

“Oh, please!” Rose gave her a starry eyed look, full of mockery and malice. “Please do lecture me again on the wonders of my psyche! Please do continue to psychoanalyze me! I absolutely find you alluring whenever you do!”

“If the shoe fits, Ms _Therapist_.” Kanaya found herself replying.

“No, quite seriously!” Rose continued to insist (test). “Say what you’re truly implying by that statement, dear. Unless you think I’m too much of a child to hear it?”

“That’s exactly what an immature child _says_.” Kanaya picked at the low hanging fruit, tried to weigh her options, tried not to strike venom in an argument that didn’t need to grow any larger.

Rose wasn’t having it.

“Since you seem to be such an expert,” She uncrossed her arms and placed them on her hips now. “Lecture me.”

Kanaya tried, she really did, but Rose had gotten her all riled up in the past two days that she just ended up feeding into her wife’s bait: “My implication is that I wish that you would stop using me as the proverbial punching apparatus when it comes to the psychological issues you habor for your Human Mother.”

\---

Rose didn’t think Vriska could even come close to a timid expression without it being directed at Terezi specifically, but here she was, several feet away from her (probably eight, knowing her), frowning and fussing over some buttons on her jacket and staring at the messy floor, but looking distant.

“Dave didn’t mention anything, before you jump to any conclusions,” Rose clarified, just in case. “I just overheard the conversation, and Kanaya sort of danced around it enough to imply many things. I know you two used to be moirails, correct?”

Vriska laughed a bit, but it was practically empty.

“Yeah, like a billion sweeps ago.”

Rose sensed she was holding back, so she waited for the troll to continue.

“........I don’t really like to talk about it.”

“Kanaya?”

“No, my Lusus. Kind of fucked up territory- that kind of depressing shit is reserved only for people who need to hear it.” She said, and this time it was clear that was the end of that story.

 _‘Like Dave.’_ Rose thought.

“That’s not what I’m here for, so let’s move away from that.”

“Then what is it!?” Vriska asked with exasperation. “Geeeeeeeez, just cut to the chase, I’ve got shit to do.”

They both knew she didn’t, but Rose had set the conversation enough to get to her point by then.

“Did Kanaya used to …. Well, for lack of a better term, fuss over you like a mother?”

“Is that your guys’ Lusus thing?”

“Yes.”

Vriska thought about it for a moment. “By troll standards, no. She did fuss and meddle and poke and prod _a lot_ ,  to the point it was completely unbearable- but she didn’t fuss over me like a Lusus. I mean, I guess I wouldn’t know, because I didn’t really get the best luck with that one, huh?” A jaded laugh, then: “But Kanaya got soooooooo lucky! Fuck, she had the coolest Lusus! I guess I was a little jealous as a kid, if I’m being honest.”

Now they were getting somewhere. “Do you think Kanaya could tell?”

“That I was jealous? Probably.” Vriska sighed, dramatically. “Kanaya’s shit at reading any social situation, but I was kind of obvious as a kid.”

 _‘As a kid? What about now?’_ Another conversation for another day, Rose reminded herself.

“Anyway, what are you getting at, Lalonde?”

Rose sighed. There didn’t seem to be any way around it: she was going to have to show a bit of vulnerability to a Serket and hope she wouldn’t have to regret it later.

“I guess I’m wondering if maybe she was pitying you, and wanted to give you a chance to experience motherly love you never really had.”

Vriska narrowed her eyes again. “Troll-pity or human-pity?”

“Possibly both, but I’m talking about human-pity.”

“Fuck you!!!!!!!!” Vriska shouted, sitting up again now, baring her teeth a bit, trying to seem threatening. If Rose was being honest, part of her was.

\---

“My, how incredible!” Rose raised her voice, and Kanaya immediately knew what she had said was wrong, that it was terrible, and far too low, and that it _hurt_ her Wife. She instantly felt regretful under her shield of anger. “Is that how you sleep so peacefully at night, darling? By telling yourself that, that you’re doing me such a great service?”

Kanaya felt flooded by confusion immediately. “What?”

“I meant, of course, in the fact that you feel you need to pity me and fill in that void, that you’re giving me the chance to experience some sort of love I couldn’t fully appreciate or have.”

Kanaya almost felt a loss for words. “Is… Is _that_ what you think I’m doing?”

\---

“Is that what you think she’s doing?” Vriska asked, raising an eyebrow. Rose sighed, looking down into the bitter coffee she hadn’t noticed she kept drinking, despite it being completely disgusting.

“I’m…. asking if you ever felt she did that to you.”

She didn’t look up- she wanted to avoid the confused look she knew Vriska was giving her.

“... Not really. But, between you and me…”

Rose looked up at this, finally, because the thought of something being secretive or even remotely private when it came to Vriska Serket was intriguing.

“If it’s really bothering you that much, and you keep thinking about it, maybe there’s a reason.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning- I don’t know, maybe that’s something your ‘pan _wants,_ so it keeps bringing it up, you know?” She shrugged, like it was casual, like Rose wasn’t entering a crisis at that very sentence. “But who knows? I don’t have a fucking clue how human thinkpans work, you guys are just super weird.”

  
  
  


Rose felt something cold and dark settle in her core, something that made her feel sick and terrified and uneasy and thrilled all at once.

She didn’t stay at the hive much longer other than that, and hardly spoke to Kanaya over their meal. It kept her up at night, made slept evade her.

What could that possibly mean?

Was she, in a way, encouraging Kanaya’s behavior because she, deep down, enjoyed it, in some twisted way?

\---

“Is it not?” Rose countered, and Kanaya felt herself almost entirely speechless.

What was she supposed to say to that?

“I feel like whatever I reply, you’re too set in the belief that I am to even believe it.”

“So, you’re not even going to try?”

They both knew it was immature of Rose to say that, to ask that, and Kanaya was tired of chasing for the night.

She let out a long sigh, brought her hands to her face and pushed back her hair with clear frustration.

“Rose, I…. I don’t know. I don’t know what to say, nor what’s gotten into you in the last few days, but once you’re ready to come talk to me about it, I’ll be here. But until then…”

She bent down and picked up the kitchen towel still laying on the carpet with another sigh.

“I’m going to clean the …. dishes, and then get some rest.”

It was incredibly difficult to do so with Rose sadly watching her, but she managed.

\----

“Yo,” Vriska greeted as she pushed away the pile of art supplies Terezi was ‘organizing’, and certainly not scribbling on the white table with (said table was covered in previous doodles already, the two stopped caring a long time ago). “You busy?”

“Yes.” Terezi said without hesitation as she messily scribbled in and out of the lines of a picture of a dragon that…. Vriska squinted- was it eating a spider?

“No, you’re not.” She countered, hopping up to sit on the table and kicking her legs.

“I’m organizing.” She stuck her tongue out as she colored in the scales. Vriska ignored the way it squeezed her bloodpusher.

“Like hell you are!” She yanked the marker from Terezi’s (strong) grip. “Come oooooooon, pay attention to your moirail for once!”

Terezi paused. “Hey, Vriska?”

“Yeah?”

“I know you have an attention kink, but can it wait?”

Vriska felt her face go hot. “No, it can’t. And no, I don’t.”

Terezi shrugged, in a way that made Vriska feel stupid and exposed. “Whatever you say, Mindfang.”

She picked up another marker, intent to finish her art, and Vriska narrowed her eyes. Mostly on impulse, she slid her fingers under Terezi’s chin and forced her to face her. She felt kind of stupid, because what eye-contact was she really going to make with a blind girl?

But it made Vriska feel powerful in doing it, like she had some control over and that Terezi didn’t have any upperhand over her whatsoever, so she tried to pretend.

“You know that only works as intimidation when someone has actual pupils, right?”

“Can it, Pyrope.” Vriska said with gritted teeth. “And pay attention to what I have to propose.”

Terezi sighed, and her cheeks squished a bit against Vriska’s fingers, which Vriska tried desperately not to think about.

It didn’t work.

“Well?”

An impulsive thought flew almost immediately into Vriska’s thinkpan, that she could just toss all her plans to the side and just kiss her. It wouldn’t be the first time, so maybe it wouldn’t be awkward this time, maybe it wouldn’t stop too quickly this time, maybe Terezi wouldn’t make her feel stupid afterwards by her laughing it off and passing it off as some sort of pale thing this time, maybe Vriska would mean it pale this time, maybe Vriska _wouldn’t_ mean it pale this time, maybe they could live in the moment just a little longer this time, maybe they could just figure it out so it wouldn’t haunt Vriska on the days like these where she didn’t know what side of the quadrant plane they woke up on today-

Terezi gave Vriska’s side a harsh poke, and Vriska was pulled out of her thoughts forcefully.

“Helloooo,” Terezi snapped her fingers a few times. “What’s gotten into you today?”

Right. Vriska needed to focus. She was Vriska Serket, and she was a problem solver. A solution seeker. Thief of Light, destroyer of stupid, simple, Flighty Broad issues.

“Nothing. Listen, I’ve got this…..” She paused as she grasped for the right word. “Idea.”

“Oh god.”

“Shut up!!!!!!!!” Vriska scolded, and Terezi laughed and pushed away from Vriska’s hand against her chin. “How would you like to go on a little….. Scavenger hunt?”

Terezi’s face scrunched up a bit.

“Depends.”

“On?”

“What type of idea is this?” Terezi turned to her with a grin that meant if she needed to put Vriska in her place, she would, and it was _infuriating_ to her. “Do I need to get Redglare?”

Vriska rolled her eyes. “Save it, Neophyte. No, because then you’ll get too wrapped up in something about ‘justice’ and legal musclebeastshit when I’m just trying to help.”

Terezi snickered. “You? Help?”

“I can be generous when I see fit!” Vriska pinched her moirail’s cheek.

“Oh, I _know_.” And something in the way Terezi said it, the intense implications behind it, had Vriska’s face tinting blue.

“H-hey, what’s gotten into _you_ today?!” She repeated back, shoving Terezi a bit, who laughed again.

“Nothing, it’s just funny to wind you up. But yeah, I’ll go.” Terezi said as she stood up, grinning. “Someone’s gotta be there to laugh and bail you out of whatever dumb shit you’re about to do.”

 Terezi winked behind her ridiculous glasses and grabbed her walking stick, giving Vriska's legs a light drubbing as she left.

 

 

Rose _better_ thank her sometime for being such a generous Light sister.

\---

Towards the middle of the night, Rose wordlessly jostled Kanaya awake. The other blinked blearily, and opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but once she felt Rose sidle up close to her and curl up her fists in Kanaya’s shirt, hiding her face in her neck, Kanaya quietly pulled her closer as well, murmuring quietly as she let Rose silently cry.

 

It wasn’t an apology, but it was a moment of vulnerability, and Kanaya wasn’t going to let her anger from earlier seep into this moment.

It wasn’t an apology, but that could come tomorrow, when Rose didn’t need Kanaya to hold her before she felt herself fall apart.


End file.
